Sadness envelopes me.

No cats today. I don't feel like uploading--besides, I don't think anyone has taken any new pictures. I am pretty sure I haven't. Sylvia's 80s birthday party went off fine, it was great loads of fun. We have plenty of pictures, I plan to post them up soon. She was dressed in a purple prom looking dress with a blonde wig with a chunk taken out of the back. Her theme, of course, was Caroline from Sixteen Candles (Jake Ryan's girlfriend). I just cut up a sweater, attached some safety pins (by some I mean a whole package) and made my hair huge and sparkly and my makeup ridiculous. It was great fun, everyone looked great. We had over 4 inches of snow on Friday (for the first time in years!) but it was mostly gone by Saturday evening. The party went off without a hitch.

Now, the title for my blog is what I feel like writing about. Since transferring from a community college to UALR last semester, I have been fairly happy. Before that, I was always busy, always broke, and mostly alone. I was also pretty depressed. Of course, moving down here I am really, extremely near my best friend. Whenever I want someone to talk to, or knit with, or anything else, she is right here. So, I have been pretty happy.

However, today I was in the grips of some kind of black despair. I don't know what triggered it. When it happens, it is like someone rolling you up in a black curtain. Your insides ache, you are extremely sad if you are lucky, but don't care about anything if you are not lucky. I was the kind that was sad, luckily for me, or I would probably still be in it. I heard a commercial on the radio when coming back from taking Sylvia's notebook to her at work. It was an ad for people with diabetic neuropathy to take part in a pain medication test. My father died in 2001 from complications from Type I diabetes. The last 3 or 4 years of his life were in constant pain from the neuropathy in his legs. This is when the diabetes causes the myelin sheath over your nerves to break down. You literally have naked nerves in your legs. At least, thats how it was explained to me. When he was alive, there was no pain medication for it. Somehow, hearing that commercial set off something in me. As I was driving to school, I began sobbing. It was strange, because I haven't cried about anything for a long time, except when I saw "Gaza Strip" last week. Then later, after I got out of school, I was still feeling pretty sad. I called my mom to ask her about my car insurance, because her friend is our insurance person. She began talking about something involving work, just venting like she often does. She does janitorial work, makes less than this physically demanding work should allow, and has no benefits: vacation, medical, dental, 401K, nothing. Again, I just lost it. She asked me what was wrong, she probably thought I was off my rocker. I explained to her how angry I was at how she was treated, how she is so tired, has no prospect of retirement, etc etc. She agreed with me, but told me not to worry about it. OF COURSE I AM WORRIED ABOUT IT. She is my mother, you take care of your parents because you love them, and they took care of you. Sometimes I am so scared that I will not make enough money to take care of her when she can't work anymore. It's probably one of my biggest worries.

So, sorry for such a downer post. Next time I will post about the fabulous 80s party. I'm still sad, but Sylvie and I browsed some knit magazines at Barnes and Noble then did karaoke for 2 hours. I feel a little better.

Cats On Tuesday

Finally, Cats On Tuesday is back. I had such a lot of pictures that I never got to use, I had to narrow it down. Everyone in the house takes these pictures, especially of Ditto. She is so funny, its hard to catch her in the action sometimes. This picture illustrates what we all love best about Ditto:

She is goofy, and kind of fat. And her poor tail is too short. Nathan took this picture while we were all at school/work. The next is her in the computer chair. I took it (you can see my badly in need of polish toe). She thinks this chair is hers. When Sylvia's bf Dave (the roommate who downloaded the NIN) sits in the chair, or comes near it when she is sitting in it, she starts yowling and meowing. And believe me, her meows sound more like "mrEOWrrr" than a normal cat meow. Like a Siamese with a sore throat. Pretty annoying.

Its hard to catch Stubbles doing anything but sleep. Sylvia took this picture of Stubbles behind the entertainment cabinet. Stubbles likes hidey-holes.

She also likes boxes, as I have pointed out before.




Sometimes Ditto jumps into the box, but she always jumps right back out. She is pretty interested in what Stubbles does in the boxes, though.
Recently Nathan brought home a black star-shaped balloon. It has held its air a pretty long time, its still up right now. It is Ditto's favorite toy. She plays with it about once an hour. Earlier today she was pulling it around the house with the string in her mouth, trying to take it into the cat/craft storage/sunroom with her. Here is when she first got to play with it.


The funny thing about cameras and cat eyes is the reflection of the flash. We all agree this is about the creepiest picture we have seen.
Of course, sometimes you get lucky and the photographic opportunities present themselves. As I was posting this, I turned around and saw this on the floor. I quickly disconnect the camera from the cable, and snapped some pictures. Gold.

Isn't she funny?

Ahhh...thats relaxed.

Walking in a Wint...oh...Nevermind.

This beauticiousness is what greeted me at 7:30 a.m., while heading to school. We here in central Arkansas don't get much winter weather, so this was a pleasant surprise. It was kind of surprising that school wasn't canceled, but then again it was just snow. The funny part is, Sunday the weather was super nice and it got up to 75 degrees F. And then this. Heres the back yard from the top of the steps going up to the patio.
It was so pretty. I had time to walk around and take pictures while my car warmed up. I took a picture looking out over west Little Rock, the view from our patio. Gorgeous, huh?


Well, when I got home around 5 p.m., it was 40 degrees F. The snow was gone, everything was just wet. Here is the same shot, in the afternoon. See what a difference a day makes?

It looks as though the snow had never been. Here is all the proof: nasty wetness.

It is supposed to be in the 60s tomorrow. And then, they are calling for snow again on Friday. Craziness.
On a note NOT related to weather, Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) has created a new "halo". If you go to the website, you can download for free "Ghosts I-IV". I think. My roommate downloaded it today, I am listening to it now. It kicks total ass. All is instrumental, it is all brilliant. Reznor is supposed to release the rest of the CD in stores sometime in April, it will be a 2 disc set. Roommate says it will be about $10. If thats not a deal, I don't know what is.

duh duhlicious

I made a trifle! I haven't made one in a few years, and so forgot how delicious they are. Basically, mine is layered with cake, pudding, fruit, and whipped cream. Sometimes I forgo the fruit completely and just make chocolate layers. This one, however, was just fruit. I also tried pistachio pudding instead of my norm, vanilla pudding. I thought it was especially delicious.
In addition to that, I made cupcakes earlier this week. I am on some kind of dessert kick, I guess. The cupcakes were especially delicious thanks to the fact that they were lemon. You may think, "uhh, yick" but thats what one of my roommates said and he ended up loving them.


Sylvia and I were at my favorite store, Williams Sonoma. I love this place so much I want to live there. They had recipe cards all over the place, and Sylvia picked them up. I looked at them and saw the recipe for "mini lemon curd cupcakes". Well, I don't have mini cupcake pans and papers, so they are regular size. It also called for $12 Sprinkles lemon cupcake mix. I said screw that and picked up $1.50 Duncan Hines Moist lemon cake mix. I also got buttercream frosting, and after a few minutes of searching found the elusive lemon curd. The lemon curd is actually squirted into the cupcake after it has baked and cooled. You just put in a teaspoon, but it adds a great little zing. They were delicious.
I'll try to do Cats on Tuesday tomorrow, I have quite a few goofy cat pics saved up.